Captivated Heart

Well, I am finishing up with a powerful book, Captivating by Staci Eldridge. This book has spoken to me in some strong, "in your face" ways. I love when I can be slammed in the face with truthful teaching. There is one part that focuses on God's romance with us. I always knew that God loved me and I had heard about this "romance thing" before but through this book I was able to understand a little more. I am still blown away by the fact that God desperately wants me (us) to be imtimately, dedicatedly, head over heals in love with him. The word "intimate" used to scare me, especially thinking about me and God. But he wants to have a romantic relationship with us. He wants to "date" us. He wants to bring us "gifts" of His love. Wow! I will probably blog about that more later but here is another excerpt from the book that also meant a lot to me.

"Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit. We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting does not diminish us. As a pregnant woman is enlarged in her waiting, so are our hearts. God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory. And somtimes...it hurts."

WOW!! That so speaks right to the depths of my soul!!!!! This journey requires passion, determination, grueling battle...The Bible talks so many times about that it is in waiting and silence when we find Him and recognize Him. Most of the time, I forget that focus!

I desire that "weight of glory".
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On a lighter note----
-I am SOOOOOO glad that Drew won Dancing with the Stars. He was my favorite the whole time.
-David is almost finished with the court house job. The final days are touchable!!:)
-I had to wake Malaya up for school this morning. (Usually she gets up on her own) I thought that it was going to be a whip of a morning. But she shocked me. She had a great attitude. She busted her rear to get ready and jumped in the car. So as we were walking in to school I told her that I was so proud of the decision she had made to have such a great attitude even though she was still tired. She looked up into my eyes with the most confident look a little 5 year old girl can give and said very bluntly, "Mom, we DID pray about my attitude last night, remember!!" I was busted!! Sometimes I forget that God really does listen to all of our "jibberish":) Malaya reminds me so much about the simplicity of our walk!

College Roomies!

I got to spend some time this week with my college roomates. Not only were these girls my college roomies but we also went to high school together. We had the best time!! We talked about old boyfriends and old high school experiences. We have so many great memories from Poteet High School and MCoC youth group. Then we went to ACU together. We gained the Freshman 15 together. We exercised together to lose the freshman 15. We were together daily (when one of us wasn't out with a boy:) We pledged together. We were in each other's weddings. They dropped to the floor (literally) when I told them I was expecting Malaya. I have recently gotten to celebrate with them as they welcomed their sweet boys into this world.
We talked about "mommyhood". We talked about God's activity in our lives. We talked about what we desire Him to do in our lives.
Through all this conversation I was reminded what a HUGE impression these women made in my life. They have represented Jesus to me in so many ways.
We have laughed together, cried together, celebrated together, had many sleepless nights daydreaming and talking about what our lives were going to be like one day:). We have prayed together, worshipped together, encouraged each other in our walks, and so many other things!!
I can't wait to tell Malaya about some (not all:) of our memories and watch her as she one day develops these life long friends! Love you, roomies!!

Realization!

Last night I had one of those moments as a parent when you realize that time is so fleeting. As David and I were praying last night he worded something in his prayer that hit home. He was praising God that Malaya so much desires to spend time and have relationship with he and I. (This was coming off of the fact that Malaya had been begging David for weeks to take her to Cabela's and walk around.) Last night he took her out and they spent some special time at Cabela's. And then he said the heart piercing thing - That there will come a day or phase when she we will not be the first people at the top of her list to spend time with or if she desires it at all. The words took my breath away for a second as I remembered how many times that day Malaya had asked me to play Barbie's with her. It took me forever to sit down with her. So as of today I am going to be much more intentional about spending as much special time as possible with my daughter so that one day when her life does involve a lot of other people, I will still have the memories of working puzzles, reading books, watching movies, playing Barbies, Polly Pockets, dressing dolls, playing house and school, dancing with her, riding bikes, going to the park, etc.

And then I remind myself--she is 5 (about to be 6). I think I still have a few more years in the bag:)

It's a Boy!!

Just got a call from my little brother and they are having a little boy!! I am so excited and there is no one here to share the news with so I am sharing with blog world!! Malaya told me yesterday that even if it is a boy she is still going to put makeup on him and play dress up so look out Jonathan and Jennifer and especially little Jedidiah. That will be his name! They may not call him that but that will be his official name!! I love it!
2 Samuel 12:24 and 25 - "She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah. " In my side notes it says The giving of this name suggests that the Lord's favor rested on Solomon from his birth. And since the name also contained an echo of David's name, it provided assurance to David that the Lord also loved him and would continue his dynasty.
WOW!! I pray that Jedidiah along with Malaya will continue to pass down for generations to come the name and spirit of Jesus.
"And we must tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord"!! Amen!
I am a proud aunt!! Congrats Jon and Jen!!