Thoughts on Prayer

Here are a few quotes I have been compiling about prayer. Of course most of them are thoughts of humans but there is still something to learned by the words. I hope some of them touch you in some way:)

"It is not prayer which draws Jesus into our hearts. Nor is it our prayer which moves Jesus to come in to us. All He needs is access. He enters in of His own accord, because he desires to come in. And He enters in wherever he is not denied admittance." O. Hallesby

"If our petitions are in accordance with His will, and if we seek His glory in the asking, the answers will come in ways that will astonish us and fill our hearts with songs of thanksgiving." J.K. Maclean (I love the part about that the answers will astonish us. AMEN AND AMEN!!)

"Our faith in prayer can be no passing attitude that changes with the wind or with our own feelings and circumstances; it must be a faact that God hears and answers, that His ear is ever open to the cry of His children, and that the power to do what is asked of Him is commensurate with His willingness." E.M. Bounds

"In God's name, I beseech you, let prayer nourish your soul as your meals nourish your body. Let your fixed seasons of prayer keep you in God's presence through the day, and His presence frequently remembered though it be an ever-fresh spring of prayer." E.M. Bounds

"One night alone in prayer might make us new men, changed from poverty of soul to spiritual wealth, from trembling to triumphing." C.H. Spurgeon

"If I am a Christian, I am not set on saving my own skin, but on seeing that the salvation of God comes through me to others, and the great way is by intercession." Oswald Chambers

"You will find when you search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

"In the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee." Psalm 5:3

"If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in." Revelation 3:20

"We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers." I Thessalonians 1:2

Well, that is probably enough for now. God has really been teaching me through many ways just how powerful prayer is. I am in the "preschool" stages of learning. So bring on the learning:)

Have a great week, blog friends!

Life is Rockin' and Rollin' Along

Well, I just got home from a meeting with 10 people that I will be working in ministry with for a phase of my life. We met for 4 hours and hearing hearts that are on fire for the Lord and His service has fired me up!! I am going to be doing administrative work for a company called Kidstand. If you are interested check out the website, www.kidstand.org And if anything, just say a prayer for this ministry. The website explains many more details. I am just so excited to get to be part of a team that is passionate about sharing Jesus with children. Our team has been asked to come to Africa in September and I am highly considering that trip. Much more prayer on that front!! I am sure I will be blogging about this more in the future...

We got back from Ruidoso on Friday night. We had a wonderful trip with our family, (mom, dad, both brothers and sister in laws, and of course my sexy hubby and beautiful daughter). Here is a run down of our 5 day trip:
Monday: Left Keller at 6:00P.M. and arrived in Ruidoso, NM at 3:00 a.m. (yes, we are crazy:)

Tuesday: woke up at 9:00 a.m., went for a drive through the mountains, saw the Ski Resort, did a little hiking to a mountain that had a breathtaking view. The clan sat and we were all speechless for a few minutes and then we worshipped our amazing creator together as a family. It was a blessing!! Then coming off of an intimate time with God, my brothers proceded to... no I won't tell the blogworld about it:) Malaya started feeling sick so I hiked while carrying a 60 pound child back to the car. I finally sat down on a rock and waited for the testosterone in our family to catch up. See my dad's blog for a cute story about this, www.rross.blogspot.com

Wednesday: woke up at 7:00 to head to Ski Apache! We had a great day. Malaya loved her little ski school and I was so impressed with how good she was. David had a blast and is ready to go back. I hung out with my 7 month pregnant sister in law for the day. After dinner we headed back to the house and watched American Idol and worked a 500 piece puzzle. My favorite thing--EVER!! "Amy" (aka Josh) came to visit. (I really hope I can figure out how to post some pictures. Our time with "Amy" is always one of the highlights of our trips. It is during that time that I laugh the hardest of the whole year!! She, I mean he, cracks me up!!

Thursday: All the guys except Jonathan went golfing. The girls headed out for some shopping and ice cream/fudge eating. We had a great time!! Josh and Kayci cooked dinner for us (it was delicious!!) and we watched a movie and worked 3 more puzzles.

Friday: We gathered things together and headed home. Arrived back in Keller about 10:30.

We had such a great trip. I have not spent much time in the mountains. It was just beautiful!! I loved the trees, the animals, the smell, the scenery!
Thanks Mom and Dad for a great trip!!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Well, tomorrow is my mom's birthday! We get to celebrate the birth of Beverly Joann (Jones) Ross. The world has never been the same:) Here are some of my prized memories and things I love and appreciate about my mom!
One of my favorite things to do with my mom when I was little was work puzzles. My mom had me working 100 piece puzzles at a very early age. When my brothers took naps, working puzzles was our special time together. I loved seeing my mom be involved at my school. Mom never missed a field trip, concert, recital, etc. I loved that she taught my Bible classes, VBS and more. I remember listening to her with her friends as she would laugh with them, cry with them, listen to them, pray with them, etc. Her mama claws whipped out very seldom but when they did-watch out!! I rode the bus ONE time when I was in Kinder. I wanted the bus driver to look at my work I had done that day. She wouldn't look at my work and told me to go sit down. I NEVER rode the bus again:) My mom had firm yet stable and consistent discipline. There was never much question what was accepted in our home and what wasn't. I loved reading books with my mom. I think we read Go Dog, Go at least a million times in my lifetime. Mom challenged us academically to always do our best. She encouraged me to be a reader, which is one of my favorite things to do to this day!
When my first boyfriend broke up with me of course I was devestated!! My mom slept right beside me that night. She knew my little heart would mend but she let me know I was not alone. She always encouraged us to stand up for what was right and pure. Before we ever went out on dates or out with friends her last words would be, "Remember WHO'S you are!!" And of course many times we forgot who's we were but Mom was always there to forgive, accept and encourage us on our journey. She encouraged us to never stop seeking God. Her heart and arms were always full of love. My friends and boyfriends loved coming to my house just to visit with her. She could encourage and find a gift in the scummiest of scum. I mean that in a nice way:) I remember a few friends who came in our home (mine and brothers included) who were making horribles decisions in their life and living their lives in junky ways and after a time with Mom, they would feel convicted and sorry yet be so rejuvenated about their life. She believed in them. She has gerat vision of looking past people's dirt and seeing the beauty of God.
As I went off to college, my mom and I developed a real friendship. She was the one I would call and gush about David. I brought home a few stinkin' boys but Mom loved David from the first minute. She and David had a connection immediately. She and I worked so hard on our wedding. We made so many great memories during those 6 months. (She has a notebook about 4 inches thick if anyone needs any research for caterers, decorators, florists, bakers, etc.)
David and I called she and Dad first to tell them we were pregnant with Malaya. We made up a little riddle and it took them a minute to let it sink in that they were going to be grandparents. And so began her role as Grammy. She is a great Grammy!! She was in the room when she was born. I LOVED her presence there. I even was okay with the fact that the second Malaya was born she dropped my hand and went to grab her granddaughter. I never saw her again for the next few hours:) The nurse kept telling her nicely to let go of Malaya's hand but Mom would just so very confidently say, "She needs me." And of course did not let go:) Malaya and her have a very special bond. They "get each other". They are very similar in a lot of ways, ways I am not. They are both social butterflies. They love to talk. I LOVE it when I am in the car with the 2 of them and they want to play the Quiet game. Bottom's up, I win every time. I think the longest game ever has been about 5 seconds. They like to be prissy together. They just love being together.
Thank you Mom for always being a source of strength. Thank you for being bold. Thank you for not being afraid of confrontation and standing for the truth.
Thanks Mom for also battling for us kids in prayer since the time we were conceived. God has blessed your faithfulness in many ways. Thank you for praying for our future mates (we all got gifts from those devoted prayers.) Thank you for praying for our souls. Thank your for praying dangerous prayers and asking God to do whatever it takes in our lives to make us like Him. Thanks for spending hours on your knees for us. Thanks for your bold teaching and example. Thanks for your constant redirection to God's word. Thanks for setting us on a path to Jesus even when at times you had to snap our heads into that direction. Thanks for always letting me cry and whine to you about life. Thank you for sacrificing my heart to the Lord. Thanks for reminders of our focus and our goal. Thanks for teaching us about purity, holiness, love, forgiveness, devotion, and perseverence. Thanks for being my friend and one of my closest confidants. Thanks for being a loyal friend to so many over the years. I have seen people become closer to Jesus because of your listening ear, your compassion, your teaching, your prayer and your counsel. Thank you for being a willing vessel of Jesus. Thank you for living your life so selflessly. Thank you for letting me continue to learn and grow from you. You are a constant source of advice and counsel in marriage, parenting, relationships, and life in general.
Thank you Mom for living your life to please Jesus. Thank you for living your life to smell like him, to look like him and to sound like him. Thank you for being one of the biggest blessings in my life.
Happy Birthday Mom. Thanks for being you!!

Captivated Heart

Well, I am finishing up with a powerful book, Captivating by Staci Eldridge. This book has spoken to me in some strong, "in your face" ways. I love when I can be slammed in the face with truthful teaching. There is one part that focuses on God's romance with us. I always knew that God loved me and I had heard about this "romance thing" before but through this book I was able to understand a little more. I am still blown away by the fact that God desperately wants me (us) to be imtimately, dedicatedly, head over heals in love with him. The word "intimate" used to scare me, especially thinking about me and God. But he wants to have a romantic relationship with us. He wants to "date" us. He wants to bring us "gifts" of His love. Wow! I will probably blog about that more later but here is another excerpt from the book that also meant a lot to me.

"Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit. We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting does not diminish us. As a pregnant woman is enlarged in her waiting, so are our hearts. God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory. And somtimes...it hurts."

WOW!! That so speaks right to the depths of my soul!!!!! This journey requires passion, determination, grueling battle...The Bible talks so many times about that it is in waiting and silence when we find Him and recognize Him. Most of the time, I forget that focus!

I desire that "weight of glory".
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On a lighter note----
-I am SOOOOOO glad that Drew won Dancing with the Stars. He was my favorite the whole time.
-David is almost finished with the court house job. The final days are touchable!!:)
-I had to wake Malaya up for school this morning. (Usually she gets up on her own) I thought that it was going to be a whip of a morning. But she shocked me. She had a great attitude. She busted her rear to get ready and jumped in the car. So as we were walking in to school I told her that I was so proud of the decision she had made to have such a great attitude even though she was still tired. She looked up into my eyes with the most confident look a little 5 year old girl can give and said very bluntly, "Mom, we DID pray about my attitude last night, remember!!" I was busted!! Sometimes I forget that God really does listen to all of our "jibberish":) Malaya reminds me so much about the simplicity of our walk!

College Roomies!

I got to spend some time this week with my college roomates. Not only were these girls my college roomies but we also went to high school together. We had the best time!! We talked about old boyfriends and old high school experiences. We have so many great memories from Poteet High School and MCoC youth group. Then we went to ACU together. We gained the Freshman 15 together. We exercised together to lose the freshman 15. We were together daily (when one of us wasn't out with a boy:) We pledged together. We were in each other's weddings. They dropped to the floor (literally) when I told them I was expecting Malaya. I have recently gotten to celebrate with them as they welcomed their sweet boys into this world.
We talked about "mommyhood". We talked about God's activity in our lives. We talked about what we desire Him to do in our lives.
Through all this conversation I was reminded what a HUGE impression these women made in my life. They have represented Jesus to me in so many ways.
We have laughed together, cried together, celebrated together, had many sleepless nights daydreaming and talking about what our lives were going to be like one day:). We have prayed together, worshipped together, encouraged each other in our walks, and so many other things!!
I can't wait to tell Malaya about some (not all:) of our memories and watch her as she one day develops these life long friends! Love you, roomies!!

Realization!

Last night I had one of those moments as a parent when you realize that time is so fleeting. As David and I were praying last night he worded something in his prayer that hit home. He was praising God that Malaya so much desires to spend time and have relationship with he and I. (This was coming off of the fact that Malaya had been begging David for weeks to take her to Cabela's and walk around.) Last night he took her out and they spent some special time at Cabela's. And then he said the heart piercing thing - That there will come a day or phase when she we will not be the first people at the top of her list to spend time with or if she desires it at all. The words took my breath away for a second as I remembered how many times that day Malaya had asked me to play Barbie's with her. It took me forever to sit down with her. So as of today I am going to be much more intentional about spending as much special time as possible with my daughter so that one day when her life does involve a lot of other people, I will still have the memories of working puzzles, reading books, watching movies, playing Barbies, Polly Pockets, dressing dolls, playing house and school, dancing with her, riding bikes, going to the park, etc.

And then I remind myself--she is 5 (about to be 6). I think I still have a few more years in the bag:)

It's a Boy!!

Just got a call from my little brother and they are having a little boy!! I am so excited and there is no one here to share the news with so I am sharing with blog world!! Malaya told me yesterday that even if it is a boy she is still going to put makeup on him and play dress up so look out Jonathan and Jennifer and especially little Jedidiah. That will be his name! They may not call him that but that will be his official name!! I love it!
2 Samuel 12:24 and 25 - "She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah. " In my side notes it says The giving of this name suggests that the Lord's favor rested on Solomon from his birth. And since the name also contained an echo of David's name, it provided assurance to David that the Lord also loved him and would continue his dynasty.
WOW!! I pray that Jedidiah along with Malaya will continue to pass down for generations to come the name and spirit of Jesus.
"And we must tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord"!! Amen!
I am a proud aunt!! Congrats Jon and Jen!!

I'm Lonely and Some Kinder Updates!

I HATE when David is gone! I miss visiting with him every night about our day. I simply miss his presence in our home. I quickly forget the comfort, the protection, the companionship and the laughter that he offers. And of course I miss his hugs and kisses:) I am so ready for him to get home!!

On another note-I can not believe we are getting closer to the end of the year. Malaya has grown so much this year. Yes, she has gotten taller and more beautiful:) but her brain just amazes me!! Her knowledge has just exploded this year. She is reading and she knows how to add and subtract. (she counts mostly with her fingers which drives me crazy but I am constantly assured that is normal and okay)! She has loved learning about animals, indians, farmers, and so many other things. I applaud her teacher. She has been a fabulous teacher. I began praying many years ago for her future teachers. Last year Malaya and I prayed about it every night. God answered that prayer with precious Miss Rhodes. She is a Christian. She loves the children. She has just an amazing heart. I have loved being her Room Mom. God has also taught Malaya a lot this year about being a friend. As you could see in early kinder year blogs we had a few bumps in this area. But I have seen significant improvement. I am so proud of her. She is having a friend over to our house today and then she is going to another friend's house tomorrow! I have heard her ask kids in her class before if they believe in Jesus and if they go to church. I think it was a shock to her at first that not everyone did but I am trying to hammer her with the fact that it is those kids that God wants you to love. It has been such a lesson and example to me to attempt to teach her about her "mission field". She is a leader in her class. She likes to be in charge and have all the ideas of what to play and how to direct the other kids. That will be a continual thing that we are practicing on balancing:)
Another issue that has been interesting for me to deal with this year is Malaya's sense of style. I have watched another Godly friend deal with her daughter on this issue and b/c of her great example, I have attempted to be a little more linient than I have been in the past. Let me say I am the farthest thing from being a stylish/trendy person but having a daughter, you do want them to look cute and yes I'll say it- trendy! But this past year or so Malaya's idea of this and my idea of this is quite different. The past few months Malaya has taken charge of her own "hair care"-washing of, brushing of, STYLING of...It is always quite interesting. In the beginning I felt the need to explain to others of "the look" but I have quit that. It is always interesting to say the least.
She loves to wear jewelry which is not me AT ALL!! Putting a simple t-shirt on or a sweat shirt (my daily attire) is just horrible.
I know in later years some moral issues will enter in to this subject of dressing but for now I like to see her personality bloom through her sense of style. She makes me laugh!
I am anxious to see what else God has in store for our kindergarten year. He truly never fails to make me laugh at the marvelous way He works!!

She Cracks Me Up!

I must journal this so that I don't forget it.
I just went in to check on Malaya. (Which I do WAY too many times after she has gone asleep!) I noticed this HUGE bulge from under her sheets! Malaya had stuffed about 6 stuffed animals in her gown. I think she has been around a few pregnancies and babies!! Which by the way, she is eating up all these new babies. She is lovin' it!
We are so excited for all our new spiritual family members:)

Thank you Malaya for reminding me how precious you are. Thanks for making me smile:)

Does God.........?

Malaya is on a "kick" right now of asking questions that begin with Does God...? Here are some examples:
"Does God make hurricanes?"
"Did God make Papa have back surgery?"
"Does God get mad at us?"
"Does God not want you to have more babies?" (I know, I know... boo-hoo but really I kind of giggled-no melt down:)
"Is God mean?"
"Can God stop the devil?"

Heavy, huh?? Maybe some of you have great answers to the above and if you do please leave your advice but I find myself stumbling over my words. We have always taught Malaya that their are 2 powers fighting for her life, God and Satan. When she was very little we disciplined her often by asking her, "Who are you pleasing with that choice, God or the devil." And we love making God happy and we still stomp our feet when we please the devil and say "Oh, man. Let's not make him happy again. "She has always been very aware of Satan's activity and God's activity in her life and she is pretty good at distinguishing the two in her day to day life as far as when she does good and when she does bad- but as she is getting older the questions are becoming bigger and heavier as you see. Some are easier to answer than others and I have become pretty good at saying, "I just don't know but I know God is perfect!" or "Malaya, I will pray and think about that question and get back to you." (Sometimes in the back of my head hoping she'll forget, which she never does, so I know I have to keep my word. What a challenge!

God teaches us so much about faith through our children. Sometimes just knowing that God IS and that He DOES and that He has already won the victory over the devil has to be good enough.
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Malaya started dance today!! It was so much fun to watch her! She has always danced around the house and put on shows for me and David but I didn't know how she would act with strangers and room of peers. She was in heaven. She loved the tap and ballet. But I think her favorite part was when they got to do an interpretive dance to a story. It was the cutest thing ever. All shyness was out the door. She was floating and shaking her...no not that:)... streamers in the air. I am waiting to hear, "Mom, I was made to dance."

God-I have a problem!

When we got home today, Malaya asked if she could watch cartoons. I told her we would eat lunch and then she could watch a cartoon. Then she asked if she could eat lunch in the living room. I told her that we were not going to eat lunch in the living room. We were going to have lunch at the table (as usual) and THEN she could watch a cartoon. As I was getting lunch ready she came walking in the kitchen with her ever so grown up walk and her hands on her hips and she said in a very "16 year oldish" way, "Mom, I was BORN to watch t.v." I thought in my head, WHAT in the world. I start to ramble off all the typical things like, "Oh yeah, little missy-You were BORN to live your life for Jesus, to be a servant and to NOT talk back to your mother." But I didn't rattle off those things. I just giggled to myself b/c I heard Beverly Ross (my mother) in her "I was born to (insert whatever she is doing at the moment)" I have heard my mom say this so many times: I was born to make tea. I was born to work puzzles. I was born to lay on the beach and read books all day. etc. etc. etc. Cracks me up!
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My grandfather came out of his surgery well. We are so grateful. The doctor prayed over the surgery and my grandfather before they went in so that was very comforting to family that the surgeon was a Jesus follower. Prase God for that and I pray his recovery is quick!
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Special shout out to Kelli Fletcher today! Happy Birthday Kelli!! Hope you are partying your day away:)

Random Nothings

Well, since it has been almost a week since I have blogged I figure I should journal something about my life so that I don't look back on this day and think "Man, Jenny! Your life was really boring in Jan. of 2006."
So here's just a bunch of random hoo-haw!

Christmas is put up and back in the attic. I do have a few Christmas dishes left but hey the majority is done.

We are having a hard time getting back in good sleeping schedule after the holiday. Since starting Kinder, Malaya has been up and ready to go to school most mornings but this last week I have pulled her out of bed at 7:50. (We leave for school at 8:10.) Thankfully we pick out what she is going to wear the night before so that is ready to go. I brush my teeth, throw on my daily attire of sweats, throw the hair in my normal hair-do (ponytail), I grab breakfast that she eats in the car, and we are running into our day. I really don't enjoy starting our days that way. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Our ocean of babies began being born today. The Ayers baby was born today. This is a very exciting and changing time for many of our friends! Can't wait to hold them all and remember when Malaya was that little (or not so little). It is amazing to look into the face of a newborn baby and wonder about what they are going to be, what role they are going to play in life, church, ministry, etc. So moldable, yet God's fingerprints are marked all over their new little bodies. I need to stop typing this stuff before I start snort crying:)

Brother and sister in law (Jonathan and Jennifer) are starting a new job. He will be the worship leader for Bamel Road Church of Christ in Houston. I am very excited for them. They start March 1st.They are both so talented and will be HUGE servants in the church there. It is just weird to think about little bro' being a professional, working MAN! And on top of that about to be a Dad. WOW!!

Other brother Josh and Kayci are on the prowl for a Pulpit position. I can't wait to see what God ends up doing with their willing spirits. They are seeking His will whole-heartedly and I know whereever they go that God's word will be preached and people's hearts will be challenged to be more like Jesus!

Do you ever have those conversations with God that go something like this--

Jenny: WIll, you please just do something with my life??
God: I am at work and you will see someday.
Jenny: Could I have a result now please.
God: Not done yet (as you can just picture God just chipping and hammering and pushing your heart into place)
Jenny: God, I truly am ready.
God: Not today
Jenny: Tomorrow??
God: (laughing at my stubborn, immature spirit)
Jenny: (stomping my feet) WHEN??????
God: make it all about ME, my daughter, make it all about me

Those words have been going through my head on a consistent basis for a few weeks now--It's not about me (jenny), It's all about you (God). It's not about me, It's all about you. It's not about me. It's all about you.........

Will I ever get it?? I am so grateful He is so patient with me.

On that note-off to go play Strawberry Shortcake with Malaya!

Happy New Year!

Well, Malaya is back at school after being home for 2 and a half weeks. David is working back at the courthouse. I am sitting in our big chair wondering where I should begin with holiday clean-up. Toys are everywhere, laundry is in need of being done, and many other things but...it can all wait a little longer. We got back from Houston last night and we had a great time with our family down there. The environment down there is fast-paced! We are constantly going! Malaya loves being with her cousins and it is so neat to watch her play with them and develop relationships with them. I always love being with my sister in law. She is 4 months pregnant so we did a lot of visiting on the couch:) I also enjoyed being with my other sister in law and her new husband. It makes David and I giggle as we watch them deal with a lot of the same things we did! She and I beat the whole family in a game of Mafia. The victory was sweet! We had a really good time with them!
We went as a family to see Chronicles of Narnia! HIGHLY recommend this movie if you have not seen it. We did not take the kids. They saw Chicken Little. We will wait a year or so to let Malaya watch it but I really can not wait to watch it with her. It was amazing to see how well this movie was made. The graphics were outstanding! But the story was the best. I had read these stories as a kid but I had forgotten all the details. It was such a beautiful story and the symbolism was just amazing! I will not share too many details in case you haven't seen it.

I am excited about 2006! 2005 began with anger, bitterness, instability for our family, and lots of other feelings that we were more of Satan than of God-that's for sure! I have learned so much about God's redemption, His love, and so many other things. He has been at grueling work within my heart and even though his work has been hard, I truly pray that he continues His work in me and that He will go to even deeper parts of my heart to reveal the things in me that are not of Him. 2006 is not going to be about Jenny Bizaillion. There will definitely be times daily that I will sin and try to make it about me again but I am devoted to being intentional about not keeping my focus inward. What a waste of life if I allow myself to stay there!
I have made several goals for 2006. I am passionate and determined to fulfill those goals.

Hope your 2006 is off to a great beginning!

Great Days!

Well, we had a great past few days (with the exception of me getting sick Christmas Eve night and ALL day Christmas day)! It was great being with family! Malaya had a blast with her special aunts and uncles. They make her feel so special and shower her with so much attention. Jennifer and Kayci played American Girl with her for hours!! What blessings they are for her!
Our Chrismas is still not complete--we still have Christmas with the Biz's this weekend! Malaya is excited to see her cousins.
Malaya lost her second tooth yesterday!! I feel like she is growing so fast-I wish I could just push pause!
Well, I am off to read my toothless one a book and put her too bed!
More Christmas memories too come--

SHOPPING IS DONE!!

SSSSIIIIGGGGHHHH!!

My 2005 Christmas shopping is complete! I am taking a blogging break before I jump into a few hours of wrapping! I am so excited about being with family the next week or so. Family starts coming in tomorrow! YEA!!

As I was driving to run some errands Monday morning I got this overwhelming realization of the enormous things God has done in my life this past year. He has taught me so much, my heart truly does not feel the same. His forgiveness, love, patience, pleading, comfort (and many more things) has showered over me in miraculous, unexplainable ways. And it truly is unexplainable. Have you ever tried to explain it?? I truly can not even put it into words except just to say God is amazing...He is true...He is steady...He works miracles...He loves EVERYONE unconditionally...He is full of grace...His blood never runs out...He is the Judger--NOT ME (as much as I try to be:)...Him revealing himself to me is endless...He is so full of characteristics that I could spend a life time and never know the depth of Him.
This past year I have fallen so much deeper in love with him! I always thought it was kind of weird when people said that, but it is so true.
I will save my goals and dreams for this next year in a New Year's post.

Bringing this back to Christmas :)--Can you truly believe that God sent His son (himself in flesh) to be "us". It amazes me. I think about Mary and how her heart must have felt when that angel told her that she was carrying the Savior/her son would save the world from eternal damnation!! What a deep love she must have had for Jesus. It truly is a miracle. The devil had to have been throwing a fit the day of his birth. Absolutely amazing!!

I hope you all have a great season of giving and I hope you have some time of reflection of what God has done in your life this past year.

Room Mom Update and Christmas Tag!

What a relief!! My first BIG duty as "Room Mom" is complete! I have been so nervous all week but it is finally completed! We had our Christmas (I mean Winter) Party today. It was a lot of fun! The kids seemed to have a great time and I had great parents that were tons of help!!
Have I said before how much I LOVE being up at Malaya's school. I am that dork who LOVES volunteering-I LOVE cutting, running copies, running school errands, etc. and I have LOVED being Room Mom. I am such a nerd!!
Anyway--
Here is a FUN little Christmas "quiz" tag that I got from Paige!! EVERYONE who is reading this, consider yourself tagged!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? We wrap gifts to each other but on Christmas morning, the gifts Santa leaves are not wrapped.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Absolutely WHITE and I do love the icicle ones!
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, but I should! I 'll take a kiss (from David of course) whenever I can get it:)
5. When do you put your decorations up? As soon as possible after Thanksgiving!
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Hot rolls and Peanut Butter/Fudge candy
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? opening gifts as our little family and then going to Groveton to do Christmas with Hutson's and grandparents.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Not sure, I think I knew early but I still "pretend" that he really does exist!
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No way!!
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Usually sugar but we always leave candies too.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? LOVE IT
12. Can you ice skate? Are you kidding!! No way!
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Any time I get new clothes it is exciting but I can't pin down a favorite!
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family and giving gifts.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Fudges, candies, etc.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? There are many!! Shopping with Mom, reading the Night Before Christmas, the night before Christmas:) We always read it when I was little and I have read it to Malaya every year whether she listened or not!
17. What tops your tree? a silver star
18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? for sure giving
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? O Holy Night or I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? In the middle-they are okay!

How fun!! Now it is your turn--

Wintery Day!

Don't you just love days that you are forced to not leave the house!! David has been home today and I LOVE having him home. I could sit on the couch cuddled up with him ALL day and be in heaven!
As you can see, Malaya and David decided to go play outside in this weather and being the thrillseekers both of them are--David spun Malaya in the wagon while she went sliding down the street on the ice. Princess even got in on the action. David would throw her the ball and she would go sliding at extremely high speed down the street! David busted it a couple of times and I attempted to get that on camera but I think with my laughing I could not keep the camera still. They had a great time!!
David drove with me and Malaya to take her to school b/c I hate driving in this weather and we slipped quite a few times. When we picked her up, we got slammed in the face with ice as we ran back to the truck!! Good times:)
Hope everyone in our area is enjoying their day indoors. If you did drive or travel, I hope you were safe.

Speechless!

This post is way past due--
My words cannot express the outpouring of encouragement and prayers that I received through this blog the past few days. Thanks to my sweet Dad who was desperate for intervention for a hurting daughter. Thanks to my mom for her plea through her blog for prayers for me, David, and Malaya. Thanks to my wonderful brothers and sister in laws-Thank you for being God's instruments. You each are amazing! Thanks to my irreplaceable friends - Kelli, Paige, Jami, Valerie, Amber, Summer, Joel and Kim, your visits, phone calls, and prayerful intervention have been such strength.
And to the many friends that I have never even met or have only met a few times. What a gift all of your comments were. I have read many of them numerous times. I feel God drawing me nearer to Him every time I read your words. Thank each of you for taking time out to comment on my blog and leave words of hope, encouragement and testimonies of God's faithfulness through your stories. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for you. Thank you also for being God's instruments. You were used!
We continue to live because of the breath that God offers. Thank you for those that are praying and those that committed through this blog to pray for our family. My gratefulness is immeasurable!
I have learned more than ever this week about the greatness of the body of Christ. Thank you for extending His hands and feet to me.

I am committed to seeking the Lord more every day as he continues to mold me into what He desires for me to be. May my life be a reflection of Him...

Warning: Depressing Blog

One of my uses of this blog is to sometimes vent emotionally. If you click away from this blog right now that is fine. It is depressing and not encouraging at all! Writing this out is for my benefit, really....I write this over shed tears wondering what in the world God is doing. I get tired of being patient. I get tired of reading over and over his promises. Blah, blah,blah...
I have already had a very emotional day. Satan hit me hard in a few areas today. I just put my precious 5 year old to bed and for the second time EVER she shed tears over not having a brother or sister. This is so painful for me! She confessed that this week she started lying to the kids in her class. They had made fun of her a few weeks ago for not having any siblings. So this week she decided that she was going to start lying about it. She even told them their names: She has 2 sisters named Haley and Darla and a brother named Colton. She told me that she had been lying. She said that she doesn't want to have any of her friends over any more b/c they will "find out" that she really does not have any brothers or sisters!

If I don't come close to understanding this, how in the world is my 5 year old supposed to wrap her brain around this. She asked me, "What is wrong with you Mommy, that you can't have a baby in your tummy. " Shattered heart again as I explained to her that I just don't know. My heart breaks for her. In some part of my heart I wanted to tell her to keep lying to make it easy for her but I didn't of course. I told her that I don't understand either but that it is very important that she start telling the truth.

I left her to go pray and opened up the Word to Psalm 84:11. It says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does God withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Oh, have I wrestled with this verse the last few years. I know that I do not define "what is a good thing", God does. But Satan loves to tease me with these words and rip God's perfect Word to shreds in my mind. Sometimes I feel withheld from, sometimes I don't feel favored and honored and my walk is definitely not blameless.

I hate that my daughter is starting to experience my pain. I want to point her towards the truth and to God's faithfulness but tonight I feel weak and speechless.

I confess my selfishness and will attempt to continue to lay this down where it belongs.

(Thank you Kayci for your sweet prayer just now! You are a jewel! Your phone call was perfect timing! Thank you for letting me shed tears with you and just for listening!)

More Pictures!

Is this a sign of things to come?? This is the phone my grandparents had growing up. My grandmother said that my mom spent most of her time on this thing. I think Grammy and Malaya have quite a few things in common:)
Finishing a yummy meal!!
Here is my Papa, Malaya, and B.

Okay, I think I ran out of picture room so here is a few more! Sorry so many but I had to work really hard to even it down to these!